Note: This list is by no means comprehensive. Nor is it true for every pup. They are designed, however, to speak to Leathermen who are meeting a pup in a public setting for the first time, so it is safe to assume these are true until a pup consents to something different. Also, I refer to pup/puppy throughout, those these rules are meant to apply to all identities in the world of pup/dog play.Do not pull on a Pup’s TailAs I shared from my personal experience, you should never pull on a pup’s tail just randomly, especially if you don’t now the pup. There are ways to make a tail plug feel awesome by playing with it while in, but that doesn’t mean a pup in public wants to have everyone use their ass as a testing ground. You wouldn’t walk up to some k-9 dog on the street and start smacking around his tail, you would look like a douche. Being in leather doesn’t give you a get out of jail free card from being a douche. This is the most often complained about issue for pups when they go in public.

Do not pull on a Pup’s Collar

For me, the collar was a conscience choice while in my human headspace to become a trigger for my pup headspace. More so than a hood, because I didn’t always wear a hood, a collar for me was a trigger for when I let my human mind fall deep into the puppy headspace. So if you meet a pup at an event and you decide to establish your dominance by grabbing our collar, you may be grabbing a part of our identity, which can interfere with the headspace. I won’t say it is never appropriate to grab any pup’s collar, but if you just met them, it probably isn’t.

Ask to pet a collared pup

At events some pups are strays, and if they a friendly pup, they likely would love a pet. But it is the respectful thing to do to ask the Owner of collared pups if it is ok first. And it may be vital. You have no idea where some random collared pup’s head is if you meet them somewhere at an event, from a crowded lobby or leather mart, to a quiet corner or hallway. They could be nervous or under punishment restrictions.

A pup is not a slave

Just as every sailor in the US Navy is not Navy SEAL but every SEAL is a sailor, not every pup is a slave but some pups are slaves. You can’t expect every puppy to be a slave that you can do with as you please just because they are locked up in some sort of way. In fact the puppy headspace is looking for levels of loyalty, being taken care of and most importantly receiving a level of affection that slaves do not. You will turn off a puppy and run the risk of them ignoring you or develop a negative reaction to you if you treat a puppy like a slave unless there is a lot of pre-negotiation as to what that means.

A pup is not your sex bot

The integration of sexual play into pup play is different for each, with some not having much of any sexual interaction in their pup play headspace at all. If you are meeting a pup it doesn’t necessarily mean they want you to breed them, or suck on your “bone”, drink your piss, or have you handle their puppy dick (but it doesn’t mean that they don’t). You can’t just assume that it is ok to just go down the path of doing something sexualized with a puppy, but rather that needs to be felt out if they are open to it. And not all of that negotiation is necessarily verbal. Obviously a puppy that is humping your leg might want more from you.

Not every pup is a bottom

I still get caught on this from time to time, as it is really easy to assume that every pup is a bottom (notice I didn’t say submissive). As the pup community grows, so does the diversity of those pups. Some will never bottom in a scene, but may be submissive to a Handler. Some may not be either submissive or a bottom, but are puppies that only handle other puppies. You can’t assume that every puppy is looking to be bred by someone or having giant toys up their ass all the time.

Some pups are boyfriends

I have met some Doms that meet two puppies and assume they are good buddies just taking care of each other, but that isn’t always the case. I know of a few puppies that will be at IML this year that have a full romantic relationship as partners together in their home life, and they may or may not be looking to be handled by a Dom. And like the previous two rules, they may or may not be looking for some sort of sexual encounter. Just don’t assume that you are going to sweep some pup off their feet to be taken home forever as your pet.

Chatting can be distracting to a pup

I am surprised as to how many people try to have lengthy conversations with pups when they are fully geared up. Now, there are puppies that are comfortable with talking while they have a pup hood on or even on all fours, but if all they do is bark at you while you chat away at them, you are at best talking to yourself. Or at worst, you may be engaging their human self and pulling them out of their puppy headspace, which can only lead to frustration.

Pets and scritches are awesome

If you have received leave by a Handler to pet a pup, go for it. Be respectful and listen to the body language, the difference in barks or whimpers as to what works best, and have fun with the pup to find out where they love to be petted. For me, I loved it behind the ears on my hood to be scratched. The mere act of that affection is often most of what any pup is looking for; to be loved and accepted for who they are. Once it is ok to do so, they love to be shown affection.

Be Patient with a pup

Part of the headspace of a puppy is to let go of their human mental state and go to a puppy headspace that often operates on a level of instinct. In a public setting, a puppy can sometimes go to a place of being hyper, bouncy, knocking over objects or running into people. Good handlers know how to suppress misbehavior without breaking headspace, but that often involves a bit of patience. Just as a bad owner of a k-9 is someone that just yells and smacks for every infraction, there is no need to do that to human pups. A firm “No” is often all that is needed for a pup with poor behavior, especially if they are not your pup and have no leave to administer discipline.

Respect how hard it can be for some pups to be in public

For a pup, to go to a spot in public where they let go of their human thought processes, be in pup gear (or no gear at all) and just being a pup can be very daunting. A lot of pups won’t do it, but as these events become more and more pup friendly we are seeing more attempting to do so. It can, however, a very challenging prospect to be a pup in public. Everyone in the leather/kink communities should respect what they are doing by treating them well, and not abuse the position a pup puts themselves in by being vulnerable physically and mentally. That respect is what is allowing the vibrant and fun puppy community we have not to continue to grow.

Sparky has been involved in the LGBT community from the day he came out 18 years ago, with gay student organizations in his college years at the University of Idaho, to supporting gay and lesbian arts programs in Seattle as a Technical Producer for various productions. After discovering the world of kink he started with his first passion, pup play, under his trainer Stomper of Pupzone.com. In the course of the journey as a pup Sparky has had the chance to learn at the hands of many skilled kinksters. He has turned those lessons into a passion for exploring his own dominate side, focusing on being a Trainer to other pups to help explore their headspace and kinks. He currently documents that journey on his blog located at nosafeword.blogspot.com. He and his partner of five years have been focusing on building their home together in order to provide a loving family life for pups and boys beginning their journey.